Megastar Sharon Cuneta shared an open letter on her Facebook for her fans saying that she went through a"midlife crisis" and admitted that she sometimes gave up on herself.
"I feel that I have let you down. I let myself go, I allowed myself to get fat and stay fat..."
READ THE FULL LETTER BELOW:
The Lord has humbled me in so many ways... I have nothing to lose by telling you that I have made mistakes that have affected all that I have worked for, bled for over the past thirty-six years.
In my desire to venture into new territory and broaden my world, with the intention of giving you, my fans, supporters, and friends the rest of the best of me that I still had left, I made certain decisions that in the end, turned out to be of the wrong kind.
I feel that I have let you down. I let myself go, I allowed myself to get fat and stay fat. I became complacent... and I never lost faith in God, and in you, but I ignored the fact that I had lost faith in myself. It was I who let myself become affected by the fact that I had turned forty, not my public.
In "The Biggest Loser," I even said that I used to be everyone's sweetheart, and then I turned forty, and I felt it all changed. I knew then but chose to deny to myself that it wasn't that I had turned forty... It was that I had allowed myself to become fat. I feel that I had lost that "hunger" to be on top of my industry, maybe because I finally had a peaceful home and a loving family and focused on my children so much. And so I suffered the consequences of failing to treasure and take care of all that God had blessed me with with regard to my career. It IS my fault, my friends. I am only human.
I was going through a mid-life crisis, the effects of which I could never have foreseen. My reaction to it was awful; I became rebellious because I hated myself for the way I looked and the time I continued to waste by not focusing and working on bettering my own person. And each time I rebelled, often offending other people by being inconsiderate of their time and all else that I used to respect in and about them, I just felt worse and worse about myself. I was not "me." I hit mid-life and didn't know how to deal with it. I was lost. And then when I got used to it, I saw what had changed around me. And I didn't know what else to do then but what I knew best to do to cope with any bad situation in my life: WORK, NEVER STOPPING, WORK LIKE A ROBOT... It was okay when I loved what I was doing. It wasn't okay when I felt my "gifts" weren't being used to the fullest, or correctly, or even at all. So this became a vicious cycle. Ignoring that I had gained so much weight and therefore had limited myself to certain movie roles when there was so much more I wanted to do... And forgetting that as I was doing all this, time was passing me by.
It has taken me a while to take stock of my life and what has happened to me in the last few years. I will not make any promises to you this time. But this I can say: I am going back to basics. More on what I mean in the coming weeks.
In the meantime, from the very depths of my heart, I want to thank you all again for your patience, your support, and your love. I am writing as a human being, not merely as an actor/singer/host -- the one you have loved and believed in for so many years. But I am baring my heart, even with the understanding that others who take pleasure in someone else's pain might just use this post again, against me. At this point, it is not my problem if they cannot distinguish between words spoken from the heart and those spoken for someone's "image." I have always been real. I am sure my heart has always been in the right place. I am not perfect. But heck -- who in the world is?
Yes I have a temper -- and I have said that in so many interviews over the years. But it takes something unbelievably mean to provoke me to be mean myself. Often, when someone hurts you, you want to hurt them back.
I am a Christian, and on Twitter, some of my responses (always responses and reactions. I never started anything.) were not very Christian-like. Because I am a human being who will do anything short of murder someone who is full of malice and such disrespect that I, and any member of my family, and truly any of YOU -- do not deserve. I was angry because I was given reason to be. I am a mother lion who will stop at nothing to defend what means the world to her. And who amongst us all is insulted and humiliated -- and can claim to not be angry? Having said all that, and if that is my only 'offense,' I hold my head up high because I was -- and I will continue to be -- nothing but REAL. Would you rather have someone who will step on anyone's toes to get what he/she wants and then present to you all a fake image of goodness, or someone who is truly happy and kind but also truly a fighter when provoked? I am sorry for upsetting words that I used when I could have ignored so much negativity. I simply WAS AND STILL AM NOT USED to being treated in a mean way, being insulted to the depths of my soul when I have done nothing to deserve it except to defend myself and a loved one. Is anyone used to all that? But I regret that in my anger and frustration and disbelief, I reacted. At all.
I cannot apologize for the person I am. I am transparent. I cry when I'm sad, I laugh uncontrollably when I'm happy, I am frank and say what I think when any part of my person or property is violated. I was very matiisin for many, many years, and lots of people took advantage of that. So very many. So I learned to stand up for myself. Twitter was one of the few places that provoked me to show that side of me, but make no mistake about it -- I am a fighter. I am not a doormat. And like every other human being, I deserve respect, especially because I know I am not a bad person. My mistake was I should've picked my battles like I always used to. I was shocked and unprepared, and so I was wrong to react the way I often did.
I am just so tired of having to defend the kind of person I am, when I know that God knows exactly what kind of heart I have. It is very painful when you are the target of some and made to feel so badly over someone or something they say you are and that you know you are not. But I know I am not without fault. I am the farthest thing from perfect. But God knows I try my best.
Like I said, I have nothing to lose now... I am going through one of the lowest times of my life and career, and it is to a great extent by my own doing. But I also HAVE bumped into certain people who made this journey much more difficult, too. Nevertheless, I humble myself and still praise God for everything He has ever blessed me and my loved ones with. I thank God for people who love me, like you.
What matters to me is that I am putting this all out there now. When I really can just NOT. I no longer care if some people refuse to take this as a raw, open letter. This is my heart. Never like theirs. And that is their problem.
Thank you. Very, very much. You have stuck with me through thick and thin. You didn't give up on me even when I gave up on myself (yes, I did) sometimes. You didn't know it, but you helped me crawl out of my little hole several times in the past and get back on my feet. I know that God has done most of that for me -- I want you to know that so did you.
We'll do all that we can. I have no idea where life is about to take me now. All I know is that I will live the best life I can, with the same mission statement: to inspire and encourage, to show that in this crazy world, there are still a few of us you can count on to be real. To show that you fall every once in a while, but you get up. You must. It is our obligation to do so. I know it is my obligation to do so. Not just for me, but for all of you.
I hope that in all the time that you have known me, that I have managed to make you smile when you didn't feel like it or didn't expect to, that I have in my own little way inspired you to be a better human being, to live a better life, to do little kindnesses for others which I'm sure made you feel good because it always does. I hope that I have made you happy with my concert performances, my songs on CDs, my tv shows and my movies. I hope that I have managed to take your mind off your problems even for just a couple of hours whenever you watched me perform/act. That is my job. To entertain. But with me, also always with reasons from my heart that go beyond just that.
I don't say this lightly, but I love you. For loving me even if you don't know me as a normal human being and not the girl on tv and in movie reruns. I love you for knowing that I am not perfect, and loving me anyway. I love you because you give me a reason to go on doing what I love to do -- singing, acting, hosting... I love you because you make me feel needed and still worth something in this fickle world.
Again, thank you. May God who knows all things and from whom all good things come bless you and keep you all safe.
Always yours,
Sharon. :)
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